Wednesday, June 22, 2011

... and I'm gonna be like you, Dad!

I don’t think about it. I’m not there.

It was like the past years were suddenly compressed. Like seeing an old film, and I remembered only meaningless fragments. I’ve heard it. My worst nightmare was now in front of me and I actually paid to see it.

I don’t want to think about it. I’m not there.

Finally I decided to go. Leaving was the last drop. But nothing was more inappropriate than me leaving. Undoubtedly I had to go, and I knew exactly why.

Death passed several times through my life, devastating, but this time just the possibility made me go crazy. How you deal with such a…thing? I’m a plane ride away and I still can’t find a way. I thought if I don’t say it out loud, it won’t be real and I won't be scared...

"There's only black or white.", he said to me so many times, and now I live my life by that.


Cristinnne.

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