come out of your head and into my world now

I'm tired of writing things that make sense, with begining and end, in words that take hours to embellish and make something useful and nice out of my twisted and complicated thoughts. They're complicated and bizzare, I was told, personal and hard to understand.
I'm tired of giving a damn about everyone and I'm tired of being just the nice person people seem to think I am.
I'm just myself, like everyone else, probably a bit more troubled than anyone I know, but I'm just a normal girl growing up. I'm nothing special. At all. I shout like crazy here, far from everyone because it's interesting and very useful to me. (It's not really, lets be fair.)
I'm sick of being the responsible person I am, of being careful, of being so freaking organised. I'm tired of being so forgiving. No, let me go back to that: I'm SICK of it.
I'm a sad person, I think. I've never been enough for myself and I'm up and down all day long. I'm very easily disappointed and I find it hard to get over it. "I'm someone easy to leave, even easier to forget." A.M. Some people disgust me and then there are some people I could love forever.
I'm tired of life sometimes. Pain is too painful. The waiting is too long. I have no idea how to stop missing someone even knowing I know you only miss someone when you start thinking about them => I have no idea how to stop thinking.
I can't and I don't know how to express myself so many times and I don't know how to tell someone how I feel without pushing them away or upsetting them. I don't know how to give up on someone without feeling bad and that's why I'm there till they give up on me.

I don't know how to be anymore. Can I just go away and live here?



Cx.