You've always got the best of what I am.

My conception of adrenaline is of course very different from what others often mention when they're describing their adventures. I don't do bungee jumping, I never played poker and never done anything that belongs to Discovery's "I shouldn't be alive".
However, my adrenaline, made my life better or even caused events that made me feel better, like a good comrade, encouraging me as a friend or turning me on like a capricious lover.
It's ROCK with all its ritualts: the drinks, the crazy rhythms, the amazing guitars and all the feelings that come out of the singers.
It's working on 3-4 things, answering my phone, and email people at the same time, till I fall asleep on my desk.
It's writing till my brain's on fire.
It's being angry.
It's feeling that everything's beyond my control.

I think I can say it's some kind of very, very nice inside violence that gives a new dimension to my feelings, a new speed my steps.



And yet, today I feel like something's missing. Maybe is him. He's gone now. And maybe that constant pain was what was making me function.
Still, I'm in a good mood. In a good place. But for so many years, my life was like that and now something's missing. Or maybe I'm not looking at it as I should? Am I asking the wrong question?
I feel like I'm lying and I don't know how.

Cx.